A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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