I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
