the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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