nut hugger
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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