Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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