honey bunches of taint.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
