I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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