Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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