have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
