there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
