I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
