please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
