Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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