The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
