Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
