ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
