Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
