textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
