First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
