my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize