Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
