i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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