How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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