sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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