i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
