Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
