normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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