come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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