Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
