just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
