Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
