sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
