I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
