I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
