is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
