youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
