Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
