you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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