Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
