if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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