Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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