So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
