I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
