with your own penis?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
