Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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