For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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