you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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