I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
