Soap is not a condiment
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize