I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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