That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
