well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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