people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
