Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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