I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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