I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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