That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
