you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Randomize
