i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize