Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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