ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
