I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
