do herpes really smell.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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