She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
