So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
