he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
