bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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