his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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