Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
