So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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