Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
