I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
